You’ve Got Mail


Yesterday didn’t turn out the way we planned. Actually, I mentioned the concept in yesterday’s blog. If you recall, the pieces to the puzzle don’t always fit according to our plans. The General and I had planned to take the kids home yesterday and spend the weekend with Craig and crew. They live in Cat Spring, just outside of Sealy. I was also going to carve out the time to visit with a dear friend in LaMarque on Sunday. He is currently awaiting his heavenly homecoming. His spirits are good, but his days are numbered and from all appearances, time this side of eternity is short.


Mid-afternoon on Friday, the General received a telephone call that things were not well with her mom. Her mother had gone to an appointment with her cardiologist and experienced another of her pre-pacemaker dizzy spells while she was in his office. If there is an upside to that, at least the symptoms were present while she was in his office. My experience is generally one of feeling fine when I’m in the doctor’s office. That really makes it a stretch of cognition to describe the presenting problems or symptoms. Out of sight/out of mind is generally the way I operate.


At any rate, the wiring out of her newly installed pacemaker (May 2017) had come loose. Wouldn’t you know it? The surgeon who works with her cardiologist lives in Austin where he maintains his primary practice. He is only available on Wednesdays in Odessa. In the interim, an elderly dizzy dame was on-her-own so-to-speak to find and maintain a balancing act.


Fortunately, one of the General’s cousins came to the rescue and ensured the General’s mother would not be left alone. She and her husband spent the night at the General’s mother’s home on Friday. They also ensured someone was present with her until the General could arrive yesterday. The General headed westward yesterday morning while I patiently waited for our grandkids to wake up and get their stuff together before we headed toward Houston.


Actually, while they slept, I went into Dripping Springs to check the mail at the post office. To say that: “You’ve Got Mail” added a whole new dimension to the concept. You’ve heard of discretionary mailing in a non-descript plain brown envelope? This envelope was a beige colored plastic envelope, but it was anything other than discretionary. Trust me, the folks mailing the merchandize advertised the contents of the envelope in bold black and red lettering. Actually there was even a rough sketch of a “Bubba-Type Man from Oklahoma” wearing mostly nothing pictured on the envelope. The bold lettering read: “Feels Like Wearing Nothing At All – BUCK NAKED UNDERWEAR”.


Actually, initially my eyes didn’t focus on any of the wording on the envelope. I didn’t see the visual image either. I looked first at the mailing label. It was from Duluth Trading Company in Belleville, WI. I had the thought: “What has the General ordered now?” Where had I heard that company name before? It was familiar. I even let “Duluth” roll around in my head while I was attempting to process where I’d heard that company name. For the record, I figured it out before my eyes focused on “Bubba from Oklahoma “figuratively wearing nothing but a button and a bow”. So maybe Oklahoma really is a third world country after all? The decorum of more discretionary places would have opted for a different and more fully clothed physique on the outside of an envelope. After all, this is interstate commerce.  What is ordered from Oklahoma doesn’t stay in Oklahoma.


About the same time that I saw the visual image, I noticed the lettering. How could I have helped but see the lettering? In case there is any doubt, “Don Forrester” was the recipient’s name printed on the envelope. Trust me, there are no secrets in a small town. I figure by now, anyone who knows me will interpret today’s blog as old news. They will also know that I have Buck Naked Underwear. That is way too much information.


When I got back to my car, I immediately telephoned my little brother (oops – I meant “younger brother”) in Oklahoma. For the record, he was expecting my call.   His first question of me was: “Did you get one package or two?” When I answered, “One”, he said, “Well then you’ve got another package coming.” Oh my!


Actually, I at some point I had the thought: “Finally, this daily blog gig is paying off! I’m getting gifts in the mail.” Larry went on to explain how I came to have my own pair of Buck Naked Underwear. When I tagged Larry on a previous blog, Larry’s friends that have the ability to read and write thought the banter between us was entertaining. It was his pastor’s wife that subsequently suggested to him that he should send his brother a pair of Buck Naked Underwear and a pair of Keene sandals. Wow! Did I hear him correctly? Apparently, he said he also ordered me a pair of Keene sandals. Those things are not cheap!  Long story short, I have a very generous brother in Oklahoma.  Thanks also to his pastor’s wife for making the suggestion.  Larry may never have thought of this on his own.


I was touched by his generosity. Of course, he has always been a generous and kind man. He said he’d received several comments from friends at church who found the narration between us entertaining. I couldn’t help myself. Under the concept of assuming he probably hadn’t thought of it, I asked if he had shared with folks that I’d be delighted for them to regularly read my blog. He assured me his friends were smart enough to figure out how to do that if they had an interest. While I don’t disagree, I took that to be a clear “No” related to his actively assisting me in building up my readership.


Larry also asked what I thought of the previous comment from another member of their church. He said, “She’s as good as gold and she’d do anything for you.” At any rate, her earlier response was brief. She simply wrote: “Interesting story for our third world state! Lmao” I immediately remembered the comment. Larry then asked: “Do you know what Lmao stands for?” Without waiting for me to answer, he blurted out the meaning. Before he finished, I was looking for a nitroglycerin capsule. Larry explained: “That’s just the way we roll in Oklahoma”. He then laughed. It was music to my ears. Since nonsense is my spiritual gift, I want to be good at it. If I can make you laugh, you’ve made my day. Consequently, let me send a belated “Thank You” to the kind lady from Oklahoma who thought the blog was really funny. You’ve belatedly made my day.


Please know that I have the highest regards for folks in Oklahoma. My inference that not all of Larry’s friend have the ability to read and write was my hopes to get a “lol” from you. Of course, if you’re more comfortable using the “Lmao” expression, don’t let me stand in the way. I  take that as a sign that it was really funny!


I’d be honored if any of Larry’s friends opted to regularly read my blog. I figure birds of a feather flock together and Larry is definitely one of the good guys.  In addition, folks from Oklahoma who wear Buck Naked Underwear are really smart.  The General looked at the Buck Naked Underwear and said, “That’s the type of fabric they use on sports wear. It dries really quickly if it gets wet”. I’m not yet to the age that incontinence is a presenting problem, but in the event I get their, quick dry would work great.


All My Best!




2 thoughts on “You’ve Got Mail”

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