Yesterday was my Aunt Trula’s 93rd birthday. Several weeks ago, her daughter, Deanna, thoughtfully reminded all of the cousins of the day and asked that they send her mother a birthday card. Trust me, the reminder was a gift to all of us. All of us as cousins can attest to the importance Aunt Trula continues to play in our lives.
Aunt Trula is the only member of her family of origin still on this side of eternity. Her parents and five siblings have been on the other side of eternity for many years. As cousins, we all feel privileged to be a part of the family tree.
Aunt Trula’s family of origin was not an enmeshed family. Independence and healthy boundaries were the norm. That is true of the next generation of extended family members as well. Yet, the closeness shared was foundational in our understanding of healthy family dynamics.
As cousins we were privileged to periodically have contact with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins throughout our lifetime. The memories are too precious to forget.
Our memories are mostly filled with happy times. Joy and laughter were commonplace. Yet, even the sad times were more manageable because of the ties that bind our extended family together.
Aunt Trula is no longer at a place where she can live independently. Memory issues and periodic problems with cognition place her in need of supervision 24/7 for her own safety.
Gratefully, much remains that has not been taken. Consequently, Aunt Trula is still with us. What a wonderful gift we’ve been given. If you were meeting Aunt Trula for the first time, you’d be clueless that there are problems associated to cognition. Politeness is second nature to her, and her faith in God is a continual source of her strength.
I asked her yesterday, in looking back over the past 93 years, which stood out as her best year? Her response was immediate. She didn’t even have to think about it. She said, it was the year that I met Troy.
My Uncle Troy was a perpetual well of encouragement to others. He lived with the notion that the glass is always at least half full. In addition, he was one of most patient people I’ve ever known.
Aunt Trula’s answer to my question was touching and heartfelt. It was the highest of platitudes to the man who was the love of her life.
The time shared with my aunt and cousin yesterday was a feel good experience for me. It wasn’t that I crashed the party, even though I invited myself. Okay, so maybe I did crash the party. Both Aunt Trula and Deanna graciously made me feel welcomed. I also had the good fortune to second-handedly be in touch with other family members who face-timed or telephoned my aunt yesterday.
All My Best!
Don
Carpe Diem 