Yesterday morning I was privileged to officiate at the funeral service for a former, prominent resident of Johnson City. My only tie to the family was a friendship with the funeral home director. The pastor of the church the family had attended decades ago had plans to be out of town yesterday and was unavailable.
As a matter of routine, regardless of how well I may know a family, I always ask family members what they value most about their loved one before I conduct a funeral. The way I see it, you only have one chance to get it right, and if you get it wrong, it will forever be a memory you’d prefer be forgotten.
In the case of this family, they had much to share. Both adult children said their mom was like a mom to their friends during their growing up years. She was always a source of encouragement, and if you had a problem, she was a great resource who could help you find a solution.
As a side note, it is always a little awkward when I ask of a family about the things they value most, and they can’t think of anything to mention. It really does happen. I’m not making this up.
It turned out that yesterday’s service proved to be a wonderful celebration of life experience. The woman’s son delivered a heartfelt eulogy and invited anyone else to share any reflections they wanted to add. Four of his cousins, all guys, subsequently came to the microphone to share their memories and sense of gratitude for the investment their aunt had made in their lives.
Their stories had a universal theme, but they were all a little different and added to the familial sense of continuity and celebration. The last cousin who spoke, perhaps the youngest, said the best way they could all honor their aunt was to be the kind of person she was. They could all be a resource to accept, encourage and love others.
In the course of being invited to speak at funerals, I have met a lot of people posthumously that I would have enjoyed knowing during their lifetime. That certainly proved to be the case yesterday.
All My Best!
Don
Carpe Diem 