From the sound of the man’s voice and the content of our telephone conversation, I would have guessed his age to be in his late 20s or early 30s. He was calling to check my calendar for a meeting in our home to do some work. His first availability was this past Wednesday.
I told him that we were not available on Wednesday morning. I added that I needed to go with my wife to a doctor’s appointment. He responded that Wednesday morning didn’t work for him either. He and his wife were scheduled to be in court. They were in the process of adopting a second child; the sibling of the first child they adopted.
I mentioned to him that I was an old child welfare worker and had been involved in foster/adopt programs. I thanked him for his commitment to provide a forever family to two children in need of a family.
I mistakenly thought the court hearing was related to the adoption. As it turned out, he and his wife were in court on Wednesday for the termination hearing associated to the younger child’s parents. I was curious and wanted to learn more.
His adopted daughter is now two years of age. He said she is precious, and she brings us lots of joy, but she is a wild child. He laughingly said: “I didn’t have any gray hair when she was placed with us.” Based on his appearance, I would have guessed his age to be in his 40s.
He mentioned that the child’s mother was a drug user during her pregnancy. The parents were not married, and the biological father of the older child is now in prison. He attempted to block the adoption, but based on testimony and the father’s history, the court terminated any rights that he might potentially have.
I didn’t get the back story on the father of the second child, but he too, is not married to the mother. Both children have the same mother. When the second child was born, child welfare contacted the family to ask if they would provide a home for their adopted daughter’s sibling. How could they say “No.” The little boy is now 10 months old and has met all developmental milestones.
I asked if the birth mother was voluntarily agreeable to the termination of her parental rights. He said, the mother has no interest in being part of her children’s life. She never showed up for scheduled visits or followed through with any of the formulated plans made by the court on things she needed to do to regain custody.
The man also voluntarily shared with me that he and his wife have a son. He is 17 and going into his senior year of high school. He is good with having much younger siblings. What he shared with me next came as a complete surprise. He said, when their son was born something went wrong and his wife totally lost her vision. She has lived in a world of darkness since that time.
He said of his wife, her memory of how things look is locked in time. He recently told his wife that he wanted to buy a new Dodge pickup. She responded that they are ugly. He assured her that her memory does not reflect the styling change associated to the truck.
Out of curiosity, I compared a 2017 Dodge truck to a 2024 Dodge truck. The man is right. They don’t look the same.
There are some people you meet and intuitively find you’d like to know them better. I can say that is true of this man. He is a man of faith, and his view of the world is positive and upbeat. I suspect the same is true of his wife.
All My Best,
Don
Carpe Diem 