Having spent a lifetime working with kids from hard places, I learned early on that you can’t personalize the disparaging and inappropriate comments hurled in your direction by a teenager who is angry at the world. Don’t get me wrong, I think kids need to learn to be respectful, but teaching moments seldom occur when a kid is in a rage.
My folks would not have tolerated cussing or vile language. The use of either, could have been the catalyst to get beaten to within an inch of my life or to at least get my mouth washed out with soap. Neither of those are good options.
The kids I’ve worked with seldom grew up in the kind of environment I was privileged to call home. Kids generally use the vocabulary they learned in their home or school environment.
Consequently, my verbal response to being called a “#^%+” was normally not something a kid expected to hear. I often said: “Wait a minute! What you say may be true, but you haven’t known me that long, and you don’t know me that well! You sound angry. Are you angry?” My words generally took them by surprise and they generally calmed down and were willing to talk about the issue behind their anger.
When one’s emotional state is something other than calm, carefully choosing one’s words is not always a top priority. There are some things you need to let go off until a better opportunity surfaces to offer gentle redirection.
I share all of that to substantiate I can block out a lot of stuff. Almost 2 ½ decades ago I recommended the movie “Erin Brockovich” to a friend. The movie was based on a true story, where the single mother of three children went to work for an attorney. Through her diligence and determination, she was able to substantiate a case against Pacific Gas & Electric Company involving groundwater contamination in Hinkley, CA.
Though I don’t remember that the movie was filled with vile language, the friend I recommended the movie to subsequently took one of her friends to see it. Both were horrified and embarrassed by the language.
Reportedly, the case was settled in 1996 for $333 million, the largest lawsuit in United States History to that date. Of that amount, the law firm received $133.6 million and Brockovich received $2.5 million as part of her fee.
I am almost reluctant to recommend that you watch Dark Waters. It is a recently added movie on Netflix. It follows a similar storyline. It is the true story involving a young attorney by the name of Rob Bilott. The attorney was recommended to the person wanting justice by his grandmother who lived in Parkersville, West Virginia. The “villains” were folks in high places at DuPont Chemical.
Actually, I’m not reluctant to recommend that you see the movie. You will be saddened by the facts of this case and by the numbers of people directly impacted through the calculated efforts to keep the information from the public. I watched in almost a state of disbelief as the truth was revealed.
It represents the dark side of where greed can lead.
All My Best!
Don
Carpe Diem 